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It can be a tough decision... especially if you've been covering up your gray for a while. We've all seen those beautiful gray transformation pictures online, and it can be tempting to do it as well... but it's a little more complicated than just booking an appointment and getting it over with.
As someone who has performed and also undergone this process, I'll offer some insight as to what it's like and how to prepare for it, so that you can make an informed decision. Grab a cup of tea and settle in!
what is gray hair?
Did you know that gray hair isn't actually gray? A more accurate color to use when describing it would be white- but in fact, it's hair that has grown in without any color at all! They are essentially clear strands that reflect light differently, creating the gray appearance, known technically as non-pigmented hair.
what causes non-pigmented hair?
Melanin is a natural substance that gives color to the skin, hair, and eyes, and also protects the skin from ultraviolet (UV) light damage (hello, summer tan!). "Gray" hair occurs when there's a decrease in the production of melanin. As we age, the number of melanocytes (the cells that produce melanin) decreases. Stress, smoking, and genetics are other factors that can cause a decrease in melanin production, and/or premature graying. Once a hair follicle stops producing melanin, it won't make colored strands again... unless the rumors of a "gray-reversal" drug someday come to fruition!
Now you know what non-pigmented hair is, and what can cause it.
For all intents and purposes, I'll continue using "gray" to address this subject, as it is a more universally known term.
So... what should we do with our gray hair?
how do i go about going gray?
Many people who are ready to embrace their gray hair want to start the journey because they are simply tired of spending the time and money to cover it up. I understand, as this was exactly my thinking!
Some are more open to the thought of going gray because it is more acceptable to age naturally than it has been in the past- in fact, it has become trendy to have gray hair!
Some have developed allergies to the ingredients in hair color, and cannot physically continue to go through the coloring process.
Whatever the reason, if you find yourself at the crossroads between gray and not gray, there are some questions you should ask yourself and information you should be aware of before embarking on this journey.
If you haven't started coloring your hair to cover your grays yet, you can just let it grow out, of course.
However, many, if not most of us, start covering the gray hairs up as soon as they start coming in. Then we jump back and forth between feeling fantastic, with freshly colored hair, and then being horrified, seeing the gray creep back in every. few. WEEKS! Most would probably prefer a natural, full head of the color of our younger years, but may also be fine with our grays glittering from roots to ends... it's just that "in-between" that's so frustrating!
If this color limbo describes your current struggle, and you want to stop having to cover it up every few weeks, there are essentially three methods to get your hair to its fully natural color, gray and all:
1. The Triennial Method
Cost in dollars: minimal
Cost in time: maximum
Cost in maintenance: moderate
Three years. That's what Triennial means, and that is how long it would take, on average, to grow your hair long and fully natural, if you have about half an inch of gray roots to start. This method would only cost the price of haircuts, but the number of haircuts depends on how you're willing to approach it. You can chop it all off into the cutest little pixie cut and be done with it, getting trims to maintain it, or grow it out if you want it long again (you'll still need trims to shape it into an "intentional"-looking style).
If a pixie cut isn't for you and you want to keep it longer, you'll have different colors in your hair for about three years while getting as many inches off the bottom as you're comfortable with. A medium-length style would require trims as well, but with less previously colored hair hanging out at the bottom and contrasting with your natural color. For longer desired lengths, trims are recommended every 3-6 months for healthy hair, and every 1-2 months for damaged hair, to prevent further breakage and split ends, which make it seem as if your hair isn't growing much at all. For shorter styles, trims are usually necessary every 1-2 months to keep it in shape.
am i really ready to go gray?
2. The Transitionial Method
Cost in dollars: moderate
Cost in time: moderate
Cost in maintenance: moderate
This is the method to use if you're not 100% sure you're ready to go all-out gray, or if you don't want to go pixie-short, or have your previous color clashing with your natural color for three years. The approach is this: you still get your hair colored whenever you see too much gray for your liking at your roots, but the formula is tailored to be translucent instead of opaque, and easier to remove or lighten if you decide you want to try such a method of going gray down the road. This can also be achieved with highlights, aligned with your natural gray pattern, and toned as closely as possible to a platinum/silver/gray color (as your remaining pigment after lightening allows), or with a warmer blonde tone.
Both services can also be utilized together.
The photos above are of a wonderful client of mine who had been receiving color and highlights for several years, but decided to go natural. We stopped the highlights and coloring, but kept trimming to remove the previously highlighted and colored hair. Once her hair was trimmed to a length that was as short as she was comfortable wearing, we applied a translucent glaze to her gray and remaining highlighted hair in a caramel/honey tone As you can see, the gloss gave her hair a more cohesive look, and as her hair grew out the color slowly faded, revealing her gray once again. We finally trimmed off the last of her highlighted and colored ends, and she is now sporting her fully natural, beautiful, gray:
3. The Transformational Method
Cost in dollars: maximum
Cost in time: maximum
Cost in maintenance: maximum
This is the method we see all over the internet, made famous by celebrity hairstylist Jack Martin. Even if you don't know him by name, chances are you've seen his work. His clients fly from all over the world to sit in his chair, come in with three months of gray growth, at minimum (his requirement), and leave with the most gorgeous, silvery, stylish hair. His work is in the majority of the pictures guests show me when they want to go gray. AI images, like the one above, are also becoming more common. I admire Jack Martin's incredible talent, and his willingness to share his formulas and processes. However, what isn't shown is how much his clients pay, or what happens to their hair after they leave his salon. His clients have paid $2,000-$10,000 for the initial process, which takes 6-12 hours or more. They then pay hundreds of dollars to reapply the toner which creates the silver look, and that toner still fades over time. While I would LOVE to bring in that kind of income, it's not really feasible for most people. Even so, I would have to charge at least $1,000 to cover time and products used, and would STILL expect to get a disappointed message from my guest about how their hair turned yellow after a few shampoos. Even a few of Jack Martin's clients have taken to Yelp to express disappointment, and he's the very best at this service.
This is still the #1 requested gray service, regardless.
It's the same process I did on myself many years ago, because most of us want it done asap, and I was no exception. I get it. It still took me 3 years to get all of the damaged (SO damaged), lightened hair cut off, and I had to tone my hair after EVERY shampoo, or go out in public with yellow hair. I decided in 2023 that I would no longer provide this type of service, due to the inevitable damage, consistently inconsistent outcomes, high maintenance after care, and resulting stress caused to both my guests and myself.
So the next time you see a picture of a gorgeous head of silver, remember that there's a lot more going on than meets the eye- and that it might not even be real!
Tap here if you want to see the good, the bad, and the ugly of a real gray transformation (it's mine).
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am i really ready to go gray?
questions to ask yourself
(for reference throughout, the terms "lift" and "lighten" are referring to BLEACHING!)
1. Will you even LIKE the way you look with gray hair?
This is the MOST important question of all! Many have been eager to try at least one trend in beauty and fashion at some point, only to be disappointed. Regardless, most people want to experience a little variety, especially if it will make them feel gorgeous and confident!
As a newbie hairstylist, I learned some hard lessons when fulfilling client requests that involved drastic changes to their look. Unfortunately, "buyer's remorse" happens more frequently than anyone might expect when it comes to hair (hello, breakup haircut). This is what makes a thorough consultation SO vital to a successful service!
After making a hasty decision regarding my own hair, I had an idea (too late for me) that I thought would be a great way to save my clients a ton of time, money, and heartache when they feel the pull to try something different. So I started recommending they pay a visit to a wig salon before undergoing a drastic change! Utilizing wigs, toppers and extensions is also a wonderful way to help camouflage your hair as it goes through the awkward phases of growing out- without chemical damage! There are several wig salons where the staff are willing to let you hygienically try on a variety of pieces. Salon staff are very knowledgeable and can help you find a piece in the style and color that matches your current percentage of gray (or any cut/color combination, for that matter), and there is enough variety to fit any budget.
So the next time you see enough of your roots to roughly estimate your gray percentage, head out, take that one brutally honest friend (we all seem to have at least ONE), pick out some wigs, and take selfies. I promise, it's really fun.
Can't find a wig salon or don't want to? There are also several apps that let you edit your pictures for makeup and hair color, and you can do it while sitting on your couch! Most of these apps are free to download- but may have a trial period- so just make sure you cancel the subscription in time if you don't want to pay to keep it.
EDITED FOR 2026: After chatting with some of the clients who visited wig salons in the area, I learned that things have changed drastically since the last time I had been in one. Some salons didn't carry enough variety in gray styles. Some had try-on limits or stopped allowing try-ons altogether as a result of the pandemic. Some now only carry expensive options in the $300-$500 range! So I have decided to make my salon a one-stop shop for hairpieces to try on (hygienically, of course), purchase, and get fitted, colored, and cut to blend. I will also be utilizing these pieces as part of one of my consultation options for those considering a Gray Hair Journey service. In addition, since I first created this page, AI has become a common resource for editing images, so you can easily transform a selfie to see what your hair might look like in gray-for free. Just be wary of an unrealistic expectation if you don't nail your gray percentage in your prompts, and do expect to be mislead by AI's notorious habit of making you look like a romance novel cover girl (nothing wrong with that, but still...).
2. How gray IS your hair, anyway?
More often than not, gray hair starts out most prominently in the front hairline area and top (or crown) of the head, then works its way towards the back of the head over time. We'll look in the mirror and think "OMG, I'm SO gray", when our hair is actually still pretty dark, overall! This is especially hard to look at when we cover the gray up every few weeks, only to see those roots coming in. It's such a stark contrast! If you are less than 50% gray up top, you can probably blend your gray pretty well with some highlights and lowlights. If you are more than 50% gray, and especially if you are more than 75% gray, it's going to be more challenging to lift all the artificial color out to match your new growth.
So how do you know your percentage? The chart above is a good reference, but your perception might mislead you. If you have concentrated gray framing your face, don't count that as the whole. The rest of your hair- if you imagine a headband from ear to ear and then move back towards the nape area- is a more accurate gauge, and I'll tell you why. Let's say your front hairline is 75% gray and the rest of your hair is only at 25%, but then you try on a wig with 75% gray dispersion. First, you won't be seeing an accurate portrayal of what your hair really looks like naturally, and second, if you decide to go 75% gray artificially and all over, you'll have the same issue with your roots not matching the rest of your hair as they grow out darker than the rest. Your best bet would be to have an in-person consultation with a hairstylist who can tell you with certainty what your percentage is, and can see exactly where your grays are concentrated, if they are.
3. How dark is your current color?
Hair color shades are numbered Level 1- Level 10, with Level 1 being black and 10 being lightest blonde. Lifting your hair to a Level 10, which has a pale yellow undertone, is necessary for toning to platinum, silver or gray. If you are a natural Level 3 dark brown, or you've been coloring your hair with a Level 1-5 to cover gray, it's going to be very difficult to lift your hair to a pale yellow Level 10, without a bunch of darker yellow or even copper tones left behind, or without damage. Same goes if you are a natural dark blonde (Level 7), but you've been coloring with anything dark or red. Now, if you are a natural Level 6 or lighter, and you've been covering gray with the same level as your natural, it will be easier to lift your hair to pale yellow, but you may still have some warm, yellow or light copper tones (also referred to as "BRASSY" tones) to contend with. If you've also at some point bought a box or tube of blonde and put that over previously colored dark hair, you may understand the term "Hot Roots", and learned the hard lesson that color does not lift color (been there, done that!). SO, what does this mean if you decide to go the route of platinum, silver, or gray? For one, it will likely require multiple sessions of lightening to achieve pale yellow, and after multiple sessions of lightening, your hair becomes more porous.
4. How will porosity affect artificial gray?
Porosity is a measure of how well your hair absorbs and retains moisture, and in this conversation, how well it retains hair color. If your hair has become highly porous, it is very likely that your platinum, silver, or gray toner is going to fade very quickly. This means that you will need to re-tone more often, and sometimes that your toner will fade completely out with every hair washing. Highly porous hair absorbs color intensely, but because the cuticle is open, lets it out just as easily. So using violet toners or purple shampoos, which are used to neutralize yellow tones, can "stain" highly porous hair purple, but disappear with regular shampoo during the next wash. Porosity can also affect the way your hair feels and looks, in terms of healthy or damaged. Highly porous hair has difficulty retaining moisture, which can lead to frizz, dry hair, split ends, and breakage. Learn more about porosity and your porosity level here.
5. How long have you been coloring your hair, and how?
If you've been visiting a salon for a number of years to get your roots touched up, or using box color, or tubes from Sally Beauty Supply at home, you've got some "color history". Most who color at home tend to apply the color from roots to ends...every time (please stop doing this), which creates several layers of color that lightener has to break through. In addition, these multiple processes lead to over-processing the hair (see porosity). In salon, clients often change their hair with the seasons- lighter in summer, darker in winter, red to black and back to red.
Many would believe that if they color it back to their natural color, or if it's been a few months since they colored it, that they no longer have artificial color in their hair. The reality is that once color is applied, it is in the hair, and the only way to truly get rid of it is to cut it off! In any case, it's going to be an unpredictable process to lift through those artificial pigments and get to the pale yellow Level 10 required in order to tone to platinum/silver/gray. The best way to see if your hair will lift to the desired level in a session is to perform a strand test beforehand. It saves time, prevents wasted money, and decreases the chances for damage and disappointment. I will add that most people who are dark to medium brown typically need to be willing to accept caramel, honey, or golden blonde highlights. Platinum and silver/gray tones are usually only realistic if your current color is lightest brown, or in the blonde range.
6. Are you in a work or social environment where having gray hair might affect the way you are treated?
Unfortunately, despite our advances in awareness and acceptance in our society today, many hold onto some of the antiquated standards of days past. This includes being treated differently in the workplace because of age- and it affects both those who are younger and those who are older. Youth brings assumptions of naiveté or inexperience. Age brings assumptions of being inflexible or slowing in performance. While the majority of us know that this is unfair and untrue, it doesn't change the way some people will treat us, especially with gray hair, as it is a traditional indicator of "advanced age".
As a hairstylist with gray hair, I worried what clients would think about a color specialist who didn't get their own hair colored. Would they think I was a hypocrite, or a lazy slob? Would I lose business? The answer, thankfully, has been no (my clients are amazing!) I also work for myself, and I'd say my boss is pretty cool! I DO get kind of sad when I don't get carded for purchasing a bottle of wine, but the compliments I get for my gray hair totally make up for it!
7. What do you want your daily hair routine to be like?
Wouldn't it be amazing to just hop out of bed every morning looking like a million dollars? I, as well as the majority of the human population, can only imagine... sigh. Looking good takes work, no matter what. Although, yes- you'll enjoy the freedom and save so much time and money by NOT having to get those roots covered up every few weeks- you still need to make sure you're taking care of your hair! Gray hair, especially as it becomes more gray, also tends to become more dry (another wonderful bonus of aging), and therefore needs additional care. Add to that a gray transformation, with aggressive chemical processes, and it's like taking on a part-time job to maintain it.
8. What sacrifices are you willing to make?
Knowing what you know now, which route do you think you'll take? Are you brave enough to do the BIG CHOP? Or patient enough to do the slow grow and be a calico cat for a while? Or are you willing to watch your yellow ends gathering in your hairbrush for a bit? Have I terrified you to the point that you will color your roots for eternity? While I wouldn't mind touching up anyone's roots for years to come, it is sincerely not my intention to sway you one way or another! I prefer to let my clients make an informed choice. The decision is yours whether you sacrifice time, money, the integrity of your hair, or all of the above... and there will be a sacrifice. The saying "Beauty is Pain" came to be for reason, as we all know.
No matter what you decide, I am here to help!
If you feel like having a deeper conversation about it, or would like to explore options tailored to your specific needs and lifestyle, let's get together!
If you're sure you want to start your own Gray Hair Journey, but aren't 100% sure where to start, book a consultation! On my New Guest Services page, I offer three different types of consultations. I do require a face-to-face consultation before any Gray Hair Services can be booked, as I need to see your hair up close to give you the best recommendation, timing and pricing. Tap the button to get started!
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